“When you look deeply you begin to understand.
The moment when you understand, compassion is born in your heart.
And then it is possible for you to forgive.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
There is generally an understanding that forgiveness is a good thing to do. It also can be a difficult thing to do. There is a paradox with forgiveness- in order to let go of that which needs forgiven, you must first be able to hold it in your heart. Scientists and theologians alike agree that in order for forgiveness to occur, one must start at a place of compassion.
At the heart of forgiveness is the ability to own what has been done, see the humanity in the person(s) who need forgiving, and in seeing that humanity hold compassion for their imperfections. The truth is that the person who is liberated by forgiving is as much the forgiver as the forgiven. It is not uncommon for the forgiver to forgive and the person who is forgiven to be unable to forgive themselves. As long as we cannot forgive ourselves for our mistakes then we are unable to receive the forgiveness of others.
The regrets of our lives- those things that we need to offer ourselves forgiveness for- hold onto us. They can fester leaving us in spiritual and emotional pain. This can cause health problems, burden relationships, and cause us to tune out. The heart of letting go of regrets is compassion- accepting one’s fallibility. We must first accept that we will err. We will say and do things that are hurtful despite our good intentions.
Understanding this, we can offer compassion to ourselves. That self-love that is the opposite of narcissism invites us into a place of humility and hope. Learning from our mistakes, we love deeper, we accept forgiveness, and we grow. The heart of letting go of regret and the injuries received from others is to know the great capacity for learning. No longer are we bogged down by failure. Rather, we are buoyed into growth through the healing power of compassion.
May you find understanding in yourself. May you have compassion for yourself and others. May you embrace the world in humility and find a path to healing and wholeness in forgiveness. May it be so.
Blessings on the journey,
Pastor Sunshine